Thursday, July 13, 2006

I haven't posted in a while . . .

. . . not that I have regular readers of my blog, anyway. I don't have interesting thoughts, I guess. Occasionally, though, I'm made aware of someone who reacts enough to say something to me. Last year, Richie complained about the props I gave to Shane regarding Shane's work on the MilVets De Genova letter back in April 2003. Somebody seems to get royally pissed whenever I mention Traci.

So what is this blog for, anyway? A journal? The nature of this blog is my point of view and I have occasionally kept personal journals. I am reluctant, however, to go into that kind of personal depth about myself in an open source setting. Political commentary? Sometimes. I think functionally it's some of both. It's an outlet for the instances I feel motivated to record a thought that's personal but not so intimate that I feel uncomfortable revealing it to other people.

Let's see. What's going on with me. I'm finally within sight of my college degree. I should be finished in Fall 2006 (knock on wood), only 12 1/2 years after graduating from Stuy. I'll then be a certified for-reals Columbia University graduate. How's them apples? Of course, I'll also be a 30 year old college graduate.

After completing the 2005-06 MilVets executive summary, I'm finally retired as a campus activist. I meant to retire at the end of Spring 2003 after two years working hard to establish Students United for America, the ROTC movement and MilVets. I unretired in Spring 2005 to manage the sprint to the university senate vote on ROTC for Sean Wilkes. I retired last Spring and then immediately unretired again to rebuild MilVets with Oscar Escano. I'm tempted to unretire a 3rd time to take on an active role with Hamilton Society during my last semester at Columbia, but I think I can accept settling for helping them this summer, and then stepping away and leaving the job to the next generation. I have to move on and do what I can for myself. I like to think that I will at least salvage one semester of my Columbia stay. The terrorist attacks of 9/11 compelled me to become a campus activist, and so, my time here hasn't worked out as I had planned. I haven't forgotten that when I left the Army in April 2001, I was eager to be as selfish as any Columbia student. I meant to find myself. I haven't begun to do that yet.

I've been successful in my life as a leader controlling events, influencing people and making a difference for the sake of a 'greater good'. I've been motivated to do these things from a strongly internalized sense of mission. So far, though, my sense of mission has only been brought to bear on causes. I wonder if I can make myself the cause and turn my sense of mission inward to use on myself. Goals: Get healthy. Get my mind right. Finish my last classes with good grades. Get my finances in order. Get a job. I would very much like an SO relationship, too, but first things first - I need to get myself squared away first. My instructive experiences with Judy and Traci are proof enough of that.


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